every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
