in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize