is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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