Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize