1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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