i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
