He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
