hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
