I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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