How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
