why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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