just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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