The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
