Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
