a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was confusing and full of hummus
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I enjoy the company of your penis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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