So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
