Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
