Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
