tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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