also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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