Buhtt sex?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize