White coat. Heels.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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