Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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