so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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