He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
