You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
