His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
