Duck Duck Cougar?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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