batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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