Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
