spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
