Tell her she can't have a vagina
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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