my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
