I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
