I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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