either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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