i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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