i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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