This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
