Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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