So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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