I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
