Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
