All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
