in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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