it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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