My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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