Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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