I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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