In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
