I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
