she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
