I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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