In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
