just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
