I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
