found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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