you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
