Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
