Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
