is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
