She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
