How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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