I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
