we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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